The Most Difficult Day

Debbie Cisneros

On March 10, 2013, my beautiful mother passed away.

Debra Cisneros, 57, of Aurora, Co., formerly of Sioux City, Yankton and Albuquerque, passed away       unexpectedly in her home on March 10, 2013.

Debbie was born on February 27, 1956, in Pueblo, CO to Nora and Max Cisneros. After graduating from South High School in 1974, Debbie received her license in Cosmetology from the Iowa School of Beauty. Debbie took great pride in her exceptional sales abilities for hair salons and, most recently, farm and ranch advertising.

Debbie was a beautiful woman who lit up the room with her big smile and warm heart. She knew no enemies.

In addition to being a lover of music – especially Sting and The Moody Blues – Debbie enjoyed writing poetry, journaling, cooking, and she was an avid reader of both literature and Scripture. She enjoyed spending time with her family and friends, and loved to talk on the phone and share her stories with others.

Debbie is survived by her two children, Libby (Jake) Bouma and Fred Lennon; by John Lennon the father of her children; special friend and partner, Dan McCarthy; her parents Nora and Max Cisneros; and two brothers, Bob (Lucille) and Duane (Cindy) Cisneros. She also leaves behind numerous nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and countless friends. She was preceded in death by her brother Isaac.

Debbie left us after a very short life. Although we will miss her terribly, we want all of her family and friends to know she truly loved each and every one of them.

My mother’s unexpected passing has by far been the most difficult thing I have had to experience in my life. I am filled with so many questions, frustration, anger, and pure sadness. My heart aches.

This obituary does not serve my mother justice. She had the biggest heart of anyone I know. She always saw the good in people, even when it was difficult to see. She never thought twice about helping someone in need. She opened up her heart to others without question.

She was by far my biggest fan. My mother was always telling me how proud  she was of my accomplishments and for just being her daughter. And not just my biggest fan, but also my brother’s. There wasn’t a conversation that went by that she wasn’t telling us (and everyone else) how proud she was of what we were doing with our lives.

I wish I could have one more conversation with her to tell her how much I love her. I know I can have that conversation now that she is in Heaven, but it’s not the same. I want her to hear how proud of her I am for her dedication to her work, her loving heart, and for just being my mom. I want to give her one last hug where I don’t have to let go and can smell her perfume. I want to have one more phone call with her where she is telling me about a new meal she whipped up with her leftovers and whatever she had in her pantry. I want to receive one more voicemail hearing her voice  telling me to call her and that I can actually call her and she will pick up and I will talk to her about my day. I want to receive one more email where she is telling me about her day or what new outfit she got out at her favorite thrift shop. I want to receive one more card in the mail with her lipstick kiss lips sealing the envelope with a card inside just telling me hello. I want to receive one more comment about how much she loves this blog post as she almost always did after I wrote something on Joyful Girl. I just want one more of everything.

You never truly think about what you are doing and if that will be the last time you do it. I certainly didn’t.  And that breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Going back to my daily routine and life will no doubt be challenging and I question how I going to make it through those difficult moments when I reach for my phone only to realize that I cannot call her.  My head knows she is in Heaven and watching over me, but my heart has yet to, and probably never will, catch up to knowing this. My mother was a beautiful woman who I was so blessed to have known for 32 years. I know she will always be with me and that I will get to see and hug her again.

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10 thoughts on “The Most Difficult Day

  1. My heart is greatly saddened to hear this. She was a great life in all of our lives. She will be greatly missed. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of her wonderful family. I know that you were all so important to her. Again, I am so sorry!

  2. Oh Libs, this is so beautiful and a testament to all of us, in how we treat our loved ones while we have time with them. I only met and spent time with Your Mom twice, but she was larger than life and I will never forget her lively personality. She did–she literally beamed with pride the day you got married. I know she heard every word that wrote in this blog and is watching over you. Love you friend.

  3. Oh sweetie, my heart is broken for you. I’m so glad I had to pleasure of knowing Debbie, such a free-spirited, lovely lady! You know I’m here for you and I love you and I’ll be thinking about you and the rest of your family.

  4. Thank you for sharing. Through your words I can truly feel the love she gave you and your brother. Please know I am praying for you and your family.

  5. I love you sweet friend. I was blessed to know your Mom, and witness just how proud of you she truly was. You are like her in many ways, you have the same heart. xoxo

  6. Keep your dear Mom in your heart, and share memories with us often. Letting someone go is so hard, but knowing they are cradled in the arms of the sweet Saviour is a blessing. Thoughts and hugs from the UK

  7. I am so sad to just learn of this tragedy. I went to South with Debra, graduating in 1974. I lost contact with her many, many years ago and it wasn’t until a few years ago we established contact again. She was a beautiful and vibrant human being. The world has truly lost a very special person. I shall miss her very much. God Speed Debra….I’ll see you again one day.

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